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Test Your Speed

Seiji gets into the Olympic spirit on the cheap at 100-yen store Daiso

Myspeed.in
Test Your Speed

Can Seiji find the true meaning of the Olympics for a few bucks?

Aside from the inclusion of video game music, our writer Seiji Nakazawa has been having a hard time getting into the 2020 Olympics. Feeling that whatever the Games used to be about has been lost in crass commercialism, the whole pomp and circumstance seemed a little hollow to him.

▼ Seiji “Salt of the Earth” Nakazawa

In an effort to reconnect with that spirit, Seiji decided to transform himself into an Olympic super fan. He headed over to the 100-yen shop Daiso and their rock-bottom prices because he mustn’t give into the capitalist farce surrounding the event… That and he was very poor.

In a way though, Daiso is like the gold medalist among 100-yen stores, so they ought to have what Seiji needed for his mission.

The store in Asakusa ROX had a big special display for Olympic goods. However, none of the signs mentioned the Olympics by name, because they’d have to pay for a sponsorship fee to do that. Instead, they just said things like “absolutely recommended products” and “cheer from home!”

“That’s right,” thought Seiji, “stick it to the man.”

At first glance it might have been hard to notice the Olympic theme of this display. DVDs, smartphone stands, neck pillows, and HDMI cables were arranged next to potato chips and other finger foods. Clearly they were angling for those watching the Games from home and wanting to record events while at work.

Seiji already had an entertainment system and high cholesterol, so he focused on the pure Olympic spirit items and bought one of everything they sold:

▼ A plastic megaphone

▼ A tambourine

▼ Hand bells

▼ Motivational headbands

▼ Pom-poms

▼ Motivational folding fans

▼ A small flag of Japan

▼ Party medals

▼ And Japanese flag glasses

He then put on everything at once so he could fully immerse himself in Olympic glory…and it was fabulous.

Seiji began to feel like someone who enjoyed the Olympics and suddenly got the urge to head over to the Games, which were happening only a few blocks from his home, to show off his pride.

However, that was not to be…

All events were closed to the public and cases of COVID-19 continued to rise in Tokyo, causing Seiji’s wife to warn him that if he set foot anywhere near the Olympic Village he would have to sleep on the veranda for the next two weeks.

Seiji felt complete empathy for an Olympic super fan at that moment and his heart grew dark. This would probably be the only chance in his lifetime to see firsthand people running really fast, picking up really heavy things, and hitting each other on a world-class level.

It was then that he remembered Daiso’s generic signage which encouraged him to cheer from home. He decided to follow the discount chain’s advice and turned on the TV.

Skateboarding was on and Seiji didn’t really understand how it worked as an event, but it seemed like everyone was falling down and the people who fell down the fewest times won.

Seiji: “This is fun.”

Seiji was thrilled to have finally connected with the athletic community, and after one event he felt he knew everything he needed to know about the true spirit of the Olympics and changed the channel to Demon Slayer instead.

He’d tell you all what the true meaning of the Olympics is, but thinks it’s better that you all stick pom-poms down your own pants and find out for yourselves. That’s the only way to truly understand it.

Photos ©SoraNews24
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